Hi, my name is Erik. I am a Calvinist and I have a problem.
I’ve noticed a bit of a theological and devotional imbalance. Perhaps you can relate. I love Christ, his gospel, the theology that encompasses these things. I love to meditate, talk, and even dream about Christ and the gospel.
However, something in me flinches when I say that God loves me. You can put your eyebrow back down. If you are swimming in the Reformed side of the pool you know what I am talking about. I often feel like I need to qualify the conditions of God’s love towards me, by rushing to articulate such things such as grace, mercy and election. Don’t get me wrong these are all true expression of God’s love for me but I am uncomfortable just saying Paul’s words as if they are my own:
Galatians 2:20 20 “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
This is what bugs me.
Perhaps it is an over reaction against the pop-evangelical portrayal of Jesus as everybody’s boyfriend instead of Lord and King, I don’t know.
At any rate, the Bible is clear: God loves his children. I need to stop there. I need to loiter around this monument of theological truth. Too often, out of a fallen understanding, I try to chase this sweet taste of divine benevolence with other theological tonics, as if I am feeling guilty or something. This is not right. Any theology that cannot marvel and enjoy the love of God in Christ Jesus is not divinely calibrated.
So here I am today talking to myself and instead of listening to myself. I need to have my mind renewed by the word of God (Rom. 12.1-2) that I might properly esteem and enjoy the great and marvelous Savior who loved me and gave himself up for me.
I definitely do not have it all figured out and the more I grow the more chinks in the armour I see. Thanks be to God for his illuminating grace through sanctification. Thanks be to God for his love for me.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.